To all of our readership in the United States and around the world, we at Barfield Management, LLC would like to wish you all a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!

Effective communication is important to everyday living. It is almost tantamount to cash flow in a business. Lack of proper communication can kill a business almost as quick as a lack of positive cash flow.

There is a difference between communication and effective communication. When someone looks at you and says, “you’re cold.” That person just communicated with you and from that communication you took away a certain meaning. however, do you think they were talking about your temperature or your temperament? This is an example of non-effective communication. By simply adding a few more words into the phrase, the conveyor of the phrase could have made this an effective communication, such as “You’re cold. Your face is blue and you are shivering” or “You’re cold. You don’t care about anyone at all.”

Ineffective communication in personal life can lead to hurt feelings, people missing events and a whole host of other items. Ineffective communication at your business can lead to everything from a lawsuit to you losing revenue and going out of business. It is imperative that you communicate effectively. Here are a few tips that I have learned to assist in more effective communication.

• Ask a question using the statement you just heard. In our earlier example, you could ask, “what do you mean I’m cold?” This solicits for more detail.
• Restate what they said to you with a clarification added, such as, “So that I understand you correctly, you said I am cold because I am shivering.” This allows for them to agree or retort with their meaning.
• Ask a question using their statement as a basis and utilizing examples. “Are you referring to me being cold like an ice cube or in a Grinch sort of manner?” People like the use of examples. Especially if they are concrete rather than abstract items. An ice cube is a concrete item. The Grinch is a concrete item. A philosophy or belief is an abstract item.
• Listen and ask for more. People like to talk. They especially like to talk about themselves, which includes their business, their product or their service. When they are talking, pay close attention to their word usage and the overall message that surrounds the statements of the conversation. If you do not have clarity, go back and ask leading questions that allows them to talk some more. When they pause you can say, “during our conversation you said I was cold, could you please elaborate on that? I didn’t quite understand.”
• Watch the body language. If you explain something and you ask the other person if they understand and they say “yes” but the perplexed look on their face says “no,” then you need to reiterate. When this happens, go back and restate what you have stated and utilize examples. Or ask the other person if they would please repeat back what you have told them. You can do this very politely by asking the person, “if you had to explain what I just said, what would you say?” You must listen and watch at the same time, always.
• Practice, practice and practice some more. This does not require constant workshops and classes. It simply takes commitment on your part to listen, question and care about the conversation. Every time you speak to someone, you must listen to their words, watch their body language, deduce a meaning and clarify.

You must use the above tips over and over and over again. Try this out with your spouse, friend or colleague. This may seem tedious. But after you get into a habit, it will become second nature. Effective communication is one of the hardest things for many people to master because there are so many different personalities in the world and they all communicate differently. But, if you exercise the tips listed above, you will communicate more effectively with a broader range of people. One thing that most human beings have in common when they communicate is the underlying feeling that they want to be understood. You do this at home and you will have a stronger bond with your family. you do this at the office and your team members will be more loyal and your clients will be happier because they get the feeling that you truly understand their wants and needs.

Now, go forth and communicate. If you have any questions, use our contact page and submit them to me.

This week’s motivational leadership quote is:

A wise man makes more opportunities than he finds – Sir Francis Bacon

Sir Francis Bacon lived in the 16th and 17th centuries. It is not a new concept that you need to make your own opportunities rather than waiting for opportunity to happen upon you. This is one of the differences between those who become wealthy and those who do not. Those who achieve success and wealth, regardless of your definition, went out and made their own opportunities and never ever gave up. Go out an make your own opportunities and continue on with passion and persistence.

This week’s motivational leadership quote is:

Men make history and not the other way around. In periods where there is no leadership, society stands still. Progress occurs when courageous, skillful leaders seize the opportunity to change things for the better – Harry S. Truman.

If your business is standing still, take the reins and seize the opportunity. Don’t just talk about change, as many leaders often do, commit to change and act upon it. If you want to make things better in your company, community or family, you must seize the opportunity to do so and not let the world pass you by. For if you are not enacting change, someone is enacting change upon you.