I recently had a lunch meeting with an inspiring lady named Marlene Chism. She wrote a guest post about the effects of drama keeping you from your success. During the course of the conversation, Mrs. Chism commented upon my relationship with my spouse and encouraged me to write about it. Taking Mrs. Chism’s advice in the belief that others may find value in my elaboration, I am proceeding forward with doing so.

Many of you that are married, in a strong relationship, civil union, or other descriptor where two people live their lives together depending upon one another and caring for each other, will be able to identify with the following arrangement. I typically work outside the home while my wife works inside the home. This is a simple sentence that you have probably heard many times but few of you have taken the time to actually evaluate the impact of the implications of that sentence. I will be writing form the point of view of the man working from outside the home and the woman working inside the home, not to stereotype but because I am writing from my present experience. Adjust the sex to orient the story to apply to your particular situation.

I have heard couples where the spouses, who share the aforementioned situation, fight over money. The fight generally stems from some kind of financial dominance, guilt or resentment. The individual who leaves the home to work and collects a paycheck, earns the revenue, brings home the bacon, or whatever your term may be is typically considered the breadwinner. Because they are the breadwinner, the natural perception is that the money is theirs. The individual that works inside the home feels like they need to ask permission for things to be purchased or worse, they feel like they do not contribute to the family’s wealth. This type of thinking is poisonous. I have written on support teams and family is one of them. Support teams are vital to your success and as such, you should view the individual that works in the home as a vital member that contributes to your overall success.

This post makes the assumption that the individual that stays home actually participates rather than capitulates to laziness. My wife is one of the hardest working individuals I know. And let me put this out there for the entire world to read, “I Could Not Do This Without Her!” I will remove the emotional aspect from this temporarily and appeal to the fiscal nature of things. Without my wife undertaking the responsibilities that she does, I would have to hire the following people:

• Full time baby sitter to take care of my sons
• Private tutor to teach my sons
• Maid service to clean the house
• Maid service to wash the clothes (everyday)
• Personal assistant to accommodate my miscellaneous tasks
• Bookkeeper to reconcile the statements of 2 of my companies
• Web marketer to handle promotion of my various entities through social media
• Body guards to ensure the safety of my sons

Fiscally speaking, you can see that it would cost me quite a bit of money to hire competent entities to accommodate the above responsibilities. Now, many of you may not have as full of a plate as I do, but the example should show one thing, my wife is an integral part of my support team. Two things that she does that I can’t hire out for, that I did not list above, are give me peace of mind that my family is safe and taken care of while I am out of the home and grant me calm, with loving arms, upon my return home. To me, those are priceless. I can concentrate on what I do best, professionally, because I do not have to worry domestically.

Because my wife is an integral part of my support team, she has the same rights to the revenue I generate as I do. The money in our accounts is ours. We make major spending decisions together, but that is because we decide all things for our Home Team together. This point is a digression, but we recently implemented the Jar System and it dramatically assisted with our money management and made spending decisions much easier. If you want to know more about it, contact me.

Do not undervalue the individual that works in the home and supports you while you are out of the home. Worst yet, do not let that individual undervalue them self. I know that sounds odd, but they often times do. They feel that because their efforts do not directly lead to revenue generation that their role is less vital. This is where you need to step up and remind them of how important their support is. In order for this to work, you must have respect for each other and not take advantage of each other. If you treat your professional team members with respect, treating your home support team with respect should be a given (as should their respect for you). You must align your goals and work towards them as a team. For you will either grow as a team together to reach your goal or you will grow apart as individuals destroying your team. If one member is standing still while the other is progressing forward, the divide will continue to grow. Moral of the story, life is a team sport. Value and respect all members of your team or you will truly know how important they were when they are no longer part of your team.

Losing focus. It happens to the best of us. We start a business with a vigor. We have a set of ideals that we adhere to. We pour our soul into our companies and collaborate on a Mission. The team gathers and momentum builds. The company begins to earn revenue. We think clearly, strategically, and intelligently. The company grows in revenue and expenses are kept at acceptable levels. Things are going well and you decide to let up. You have worked hard and deserve some down time right? Yes and no.

Yes you deserve to relax. No you shouldn’t do it daily. You worked hard. Take a vacation. Depending upon the intensity and frequency of your work, you should vacation up to 4 times a year. You may even vacation 4 times a year and cut your work hours. But, do not take it easy or slack of at work. And, whatever you do, do not lose sight of your mission.

Many small business owners do not even have a mission statement or they do not see the value in one. They believe it is some corporate motivational thing and a waste of time. I am speaking from experience because I was one such person. My perspective was skewed. From the sole proprietor to the multi-national corporation, all businesses should have a mission statement.

A mission statement is the reason you are in business. From Rich Dad coaching and the Rich Dad Poor Dad series of books, I learned that a mission state should embody your professional and your spiritual reasons for operating that entity. Your professional reason being the one that generates your revenue and the spiritual one being the one that defines how you help others in the process.

When things start going into disarray at your company, chances are you are not following your mission statement. Your mission statement is your war cry, your guiding light, your reason that is bigger than yourself (as it pertains to your company). When your cash reserves are built and you are considering expansion in area, product, or service, ask yourself “Is this within the parameters of my mission?” If it is not, do not do it. When presented with, what appears to be a great deal, ask yourself “Is this in accordance with my mission statement?” If it is not, do not do it. You have developed a formula that works by concentrating on your mission statement. Keep your company profitable and your team members happy and continue to concentrate on your mission while improving upon your processes.

I am not implying that you should throw away opportunity. On the contrary, I never pass up an opportunity that fits my personality and style of business. However, if it does not fit the mission statement of one of my current entities, I form a new entity around that mission statement. If the expansion for one of my companies is outside the scope of the mission statement, I create another entity to continue in that direction or find another entrepreneur that I can form a symbiotic relationship to accomplish the same goal.

I have found that when you lose focus, your company suffers. When you become distracted from the basics of what made your company great, your company will inform you through loss of revenue. But this can be avoided when you create a mission statement from the beginning. Create the mission statement and make sure that every person you add to your team reads it, agrees with it, and can perform in accordance with it prior to hiring them on. Build systems that support the mission statement and train team members to focus on it. This way, when you want to take a vacation or decide to slack a little, your company will continue to cruise on and revenue will follow its habit of increasing your cash reserves.

Remember, if you don’t already have one, create that mission statement. Do it now. The only person that you are hurting by not creating one is yourself and your company.

Who is your support team? Do you know the answer to this question? If you don’t, you had better seriously consider it. No matter who you are, how strong you are, or how good you are, you can not succeed in business or as an entrepreneur without a support team. Many of you may want to argue this point. But I will wager that after reading this, you will look at those around you in a new light. Because no person is an island in the sea of business for very long.

I know the thoughts running through the minds of some of you reading this. How? Because I am an entrepreneur and I was mentally there myself once. You’re thinking, “I started this business by myself. I was the manager, the janitor, and everything in between. I did it all and did not have help from anyone!” If you are married with children and your spouse watches the kids at all or contributes around the house one iota, then they helped. Granted, some help better than others. I am not going to delve into the intricacies of how your spouse, brother, sister, friend or pet rock is your support team. However, I do want to highlight the fact that a support team is critical to your success.

Read, listen to, and observe many of the great business authors, titans of industry, and great leaders. You will begin to realize that they all have and tout the importance of support teams. If you are married, your support team starts with your spouse. Let’s get one thing perfectly clear. You do not have to convert your spouse into a business person or try to talk them into being an entrepreneur also. However, they must understand your personality. It takes a special person to be married to an entrepreneur. We never tire, give up or settle. We are constantly working physically and mentally. You may say that we are success junkies. I am a serial entrepreneur, so take all that I just described and multiply it. Needless to say, I have one hell of a wife. My wife is by biggest supporter and my strongest team mate. This was not always the case. In the earlier years of our marriage, she wanted me to just get a safe, secure job. My wife wanted me to be a regular 9 to 5 type of person. Don’t misunderstand me, the world needs those type of people. I am just not one of them. That is like asking a monkey to be a zebra. My wife finally began to understand as I tried to educate her on my point of view. How I looked at the world. I also asked her to stop pushing against the apple cart. I asked her to either help me push the metaphorical apple cart forward or at least stand to the side. But to quit pushing against me. Very few entrepreneurs succeed when their spouses are not on their team. The spouse has to understand that there may not be steady paychecks, routine sleep schedules, or guaranteed times you will come home. And the only way to help your spouse understand is to help change their perception. I didn’t say change their mind. Simply alter their perception so they can empathize with your vision. There is no how to as all people are different. If you want any pointers on your specific situation, contact me and I will try to help.

Next is family and friends. If they are not aligned with you vision and they are quick to offer up negative connotations about what you are trying to accomplish, then stop your association with them. You can’t stop being family to your family members. But you do not have to talk about your business with them. I know as an entrepreneur that you want to scream from the rooftops and let everyone know what you’re doing. Go ahead and self-promote your heart out. But when a family member or friend says the magical dream killing phrase, “You can’t do that,” and you reply with “OK. Then tell me how I can.” If you do not get a constructive response, it is time to disassociate. Constructive criticism is great. But I dislike the negative, idea killers that are quick to shoot down your dreams but have no helpful advice as to how you can accomplish your goal. What makes them an expert anyway? If your friend works 9 to 5 flipping burgers, once again a needed profession, are they qualified to give you advice? I have read many self help business books, listened to a lot of audios, and watched my fair share of videos. Many of the Great Ones talk about who you associate with. Get new friends and only talk business and entrepreneurship with family members that understand. Like I commented on earlier about your spouse, do not try to make converts into the life of entrepreneurship of your friends and family members either. Think of it this way. If you want to learn golf, you go to a golf course, talk to and associate with golfers, learn the lingo and maybe hire a golf pro for lessons. You do not go fishing to learn golf. It may seem harsh to suggest that you get new friends. But are they really your true friends if they don’t want you to succeed?

Your business team. You have to build a business team that is aligned with your core values. Blair Singer refers to this as your “Code of Honor.” If you have not read it, pick up a copy of The ABC’s of Building a Business Team That Wins by Blair Singer at the Rich Dad store. I followed the advice in this book and it works. You can do it both with an existing business and a newly formed one. In it’s simplest form, you write down statements of your core values and beliefs. Next combine what can be combined and weed out duplications. Minimize the Code of Honor to 12 or less items (it is difficult for people to remember more than this), print it and hang it up. If you already have a business, collaborate with your employees. Begin to think of and call each other team members. Through this process you may realize things like you did with your friends, they may be good people, but at this point in yours and/or your company’s life…they just don’t fit. Stick to the code. Create an atmosphere where your team members are not afraid of retribution to call you on things if you break the code. Do not hire people if they do not agree with each and every point on the Code of Honor. Your team may be smaller after this process and your hiring process may be longer, but your team will be stronger.

Lastly, your professional team. You need a professional team. Get over the, “I’ll do it by myself attitude.” Get an attorney to handle your legal, an accountant to handle your financial reporting, and a competent technology service company to handle your technical needs. Quit trying to craft your own legal documents. Stop filing your own taxes. And please quit trying to fix your own computers. Yes you may be competent in these areas. But the professionals are better and will save you money (either in straight currency or reclamation of time) in the long run. If they are not better than you or are not worth the service fees they are charging you, then change your team. As you grow, you will likely need to change or add to your team so become proficient at identifying your needs and interviewing new professional team members. The three services I listed are but a few. They are general and needed in most industries. You may want to cut corners and do things yourself or not change accountants because she’s your mom’s friend. Resist this urge. I know it is hard. But money spent on a good professional team is money well spent. When the stress level is turned up and your clear vision begins to stray into clouds of insanity, you will be glad they are a phone call away to help rescue you from going over the edge.

Who is your support team? It is an important question that you must know the answer to if you want to succeed and sustain.